[Creator Briefing] Leading with unapologetic honesty
[Creator Briefing] Leading with unapologetic honesty
A Q&A with Danusia Malina-Derben.
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⏪ Last time, an invitation to ask me anything! That’s here.
⏩ Today,
sits down for a Creator Briefing Q&A.I believe anything you create and share—written, audio, video, long-form or short—is an invitation to connect. If you are showing up and making an invitation, it’s because you’re called to. You have something to share.
That takes curiosity, conviction, competency, consistency and confidence.
It takes a willingness to lead the conversation.
has stepped up to claim the conversation she is meant to lead.More on that here:
She delivers “controversial reflections for parents who think deeper, are curious and socially aware” at
to help you feel less alone in the forbidden aspects of parenthood.A consultant for Fortune 500 companies, award-winning podcaster and author, and mother of 10, Danusia creates with unapologetic honesty and razor-sharp insights as a self-proclaimed "fully-dimensional badass."
Curiosity. Conviction. Competency. Consistency. Confidence. ✅
She’s a fierce advocate for embracing the complexities of life, encouraging others to share their full, unfiltered truths even if they aren’t “relatable.”
Now Danusia joins The Creator Briefing with more on the inspiration behind her work, what she’s challenging, how she blends slow living with an exhilarating professional life, and the creative fuel that drives her.
I’m almost positive “an obnoxious mother of ten” is in no other bio—and I love that it immediately sets you apart, practically and in personality. So in short, what is your story?
Confession time: I googled “mother of 10” for the first time in years while writing this. The search led me straight to Taina Licciardo-Toivola and Satu Nordling Gonzalez, both of whom share intimate details of their bustling family lives online. The media is quick to churn out sensationalist pieces about women with an abundance of children. Satu has now surpassed the 10-child mark, becoming a mother of 11. For me, acknowledging this number has been a journey. While I’m a mother of 10 living children, in truth, I am a mother of 11. My seventh child, Madeline, was born still, and my little portrait of grief is here.
Rejecting the tabloid spotlight, I align myself with women balancing significant careers and large families. Baroness Helena Morrissey, a mother of nine, and Susan Wojcicki (before her recent untimely passing at just 56), with her five children, exemplify high-profile executives who juggle numerous kids and demanding reputations. Men like Elon Musk, Gordon Ramsay, Boris Johnson and Jamie Oliver (and many other men) manage similar feats, yet they rarely endure the same “Superwoman” label. (Gender aside, you get the gist).
For a woman, maintaining a prominent career while raising a sizeable family is a revolutionary act. It’s a bold, high-visibility defiance of societal norms. Whether we’re nurturing large broods or achieving business success, our choices can provoke strong reactions. Stay-at-home mothers with many children are often stereotyped as government spongers (despicable), while career-driven women with large families are seen as excessively ambitious (despicable). Either way, stepping outside societal norms subjects us to an archaic judgment: Obnoxious, or deserving of censure.
My story revolves around a burning question: “How can I be a mother and still be me?”
I became a mother at 17, so my entire adult life has been a delicate dance of caregiving while carving out my own identity. As a mother of six sons and four daughters, I’ve continually faced what I call the Noise—a relentless din of opinions on 1) what it means to be a mother, 2) how I should behave, and 3) what’s deemed possible for me simply because I have children.
These restrictive definitions of acceptable motherhood often halt our progress. This Noise is symptomatic of a broader culture that resists mothers succeeding in their own right—a phenomenon I’ve termed the Mother Stopper Culture. One of the most potent messages of this culture is the false dichotomy of family versus self. It suggests that our dreams and desires should dissolve away in the face of family obligations, and that if we feel torn between personal aspirations and motherhood, we are somehow failing as mothers.
This pervasive mindset aims to constrain us, insinuating that true maternal success demands complete self-sacrifice. Yet, it’s crucial to challenge this narrative, to show that it’s entirely possible—and even healthy—to nurture both our families and our own ambitions.
Substack is not your full-time focus. By day, you consult in Fortune 500 companies. You're a podcaster and an author. You even home-school triplets! How does Parents Who Think fit into the mix of it all? Why do you create in this way? What are you hoping to share with the world?
Parents Who Think is not only the name of my Substack but also the podcast I host. From 2018 to 2024, I interviewed hundreds of women on the School for Mothers podcast, exploring their answers to that pivotal question: “How can I be a mother and still be me?” Earlier this year, I rebranded it as
, the only parent debate show amidst a sea of over 4 million podcasts. In each debate, I bring together three opinionated guests to stir the pot on a controversial topic, creating a lively and thought-provoking discussion. In today’s cancel culture, hearing diverse opinions we wouldn’t typically come across is a true gift.I'm building out the Parents Who Think Substack in time, around the edges, balancing personal essays, podcast episodes and an upcoming series called Parents that Write, which delves into the behind-the-scenes world of creator parents.
But that's not all—keep an eye on this space. I'm on the cusp of launching a second Substack, name pending! When we moved to our country house in Somerset (England), my vision was twofold: Create a nourishing environment for my family and establish a haven for creatives. This sanctuary will offer rentals, with the income subsidizing the costs for creatives who might not otherwise afford a restorative getaway. Each season, we'll provide short, fully-funded (free) creative residencies. Our first season kicks off this autumn, and applications will open soon; no need to be a parent to apply! I'm incredibly excited to bring this project to life. Please sign up for the newsletter and join us on this journey!
You’ve said, “There’s a sweet spot amid all the noise of how mothers are told we ought to be living.” Can you share more? How does this belief inform your work?
The sweet spot is that we are architects of our own motherhood. We can untangle ourselves from the conditioning of the Mother Stopper Noise. Individually and collectively, we can re-examine what expectations we choose to feed ourselves and our children with, within our families.
We can’t expect our children to grow up thinking mothers have value unless we actively occupy that value ourselves.
If we don’t, if we lose ourselves, we teach the people we love, whom we created, that mothers are only a conduit for their success and happiness. We teach them that mothers exist solely to shepherd other people’s lives to fruition, but not their own. Or that mothers may only do it around the edges of other people’s lives, picking up the crumbs of who they are, when they can. That mothers come last, if at all, in comparison to the lives of everyone else around them.
As mothers, we navigate (re)claiming ourselves against a cultural tide of self-negation. No one wants to liberate mothers and it isn’t because we’re individual failures; it’s because systemic barriers exist that stop us. We’re simultaneously invited to bring our talent to be productive in the economy, but our ankles are tied together (metaphorically). Our labor as mothers is the glue holding society together.
I refuse to be a prisoner to a sacrificial version of motherhood that I decided doesn’t belong to me. A model in which I “get to myself” once everyone else is fed, watered and asleep.
And that belief informs my work, how I raise my children and what I expect for myself and them as we live life.
How do you successfully manage so many demanding roles? What does your creative process look like? Where do you most often get content ideas?
I don’t expect myself to be uncomplicated. Human beings are complex, multi-dimensional creatures.
One of the best decisions I made, enabling me to manage my demanding roles, was choosing to live surrounded by nature under one of the Darkest Sky Reserves in the world. My home, nestled on the edge of Exmoor National Park, is in a secret and ancient place so hidden that even the Domesday Book couldn’t pinpoint it. To thrive in boardrooms and navigate the fast-paced world of advisory consulting, I need a sanctuary to recharge.
My recipe for managing demands is blending a slow-living family life with an exhilarating city career.
For a long time, I struggled to express my multifaceted and merged life publicly. I was already living a corporate and creative business life but compartmentalized them online. This year, I changed that to show how I merge every drop of life in my "day job and night job." Truth is I don’t feature everything there; it’s a work in progress. I struggle with being public, which is not a struggle with having voice.
My creativity flourishes in both the city’s hustle and the countryside’s expansive tranquility. No matter the context, this from Drew is a stab at how it goes pretty often:
I can’t resist this piece about the psychology of the four stages of the creative process. I incubate a lot, which can be taken as pfaffing, but isn’t.
I fantasize about content ideas striking while I’m carrying a wicker basket of russet red apples gliding through the orchard in a billowing, crisp white nightie. But let’s be real—I don’t have time or energy to float around like that.
Instead, my ideas come from the realities at hand: The intricacies of domestic life, times of grumpiness and decision fatigue, mining blindspots in overlapping facets of identity, power dynamics and egos across life and the isolation of raising disabled children. My content comes from the mess, myths and mishaps of life.
What are you currently feeling inspired by?
Love this question! I’m inspired by a collage of interconnected things. Here’s a starter:
This moving installation about one woman who followed her path late in life.
Stop the anti-age talk, here’s a better “anti-aging” routine.
Five years sober and celebrating with this Swedish sparkling tea.
I’m a sucker for a reno on a shoestring budget, another woman pushing boundaries.
It would be naughty to forget this great copy from professional sex toy reviewer Piph. When you need to just get the job done.
And finally, a magic button—We all need one of these.
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Thank you for being here! I pour a lot of love into this space and I hope you can feel it. It wouldn’t be the same without YOU! 🫶
Thanks Christin & Danusia for a great interview! Danusia is someone I love hearing from as she is clear in her vision of what she's leading others to. So much wisdom shared here.
Thanks hugely for asking me to contribute to your Creator briefing Christin.
I see your interview series as one of the best around. I have no doubt you put a lot of work into this. Keep on doing what you do so brilliantly!